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| Section: Walking In The Faith |
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| Category: Biblical Teaching / Lesson |
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| The Complicated Courtship Of The Christian Male |
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First, a disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been, a male chauvinist. I do not consider the male gender superior in any way to women. Quite on the contrary, I'm consistently amazed by the female propensity for simultaneous strength and tenderness, something far too many men fail to accomplish.
Don't misunderstand, however: Men and women are not equal. Their value is the same, but they are not. Men, women, and children (the product of men and women) form a complex three-dimensional image of humanity. The greatest mistake of the women's liberation movement is that, for all the good it has accomplished, there are those who strive to remove the very differences from men and women; to place them on a level playing field, as it were.
A cursory examination will show that this is not the case. The gifts and abilities men and women possess are marvelously different and complimentary. Modern society sees this diversity as weakness or acquiescence to a bygone era, when it is, in fact, our greatest strength. Stripped to their barest essentials, men are often brutish and utilitarian. Not in the comic sense of the caveman or the sitcom father, because, for all of our unrefined nature, most men seek a delicate balance; her name is woman.
The masculine attraction to the feminine is not, as the "feminist" would have us believe, a purely sexual one; the internal instinct of men to seek after women is, in fact, a longing for the balance she brings. While a man, in the presence of his own gender, might be course and aggressive, in the pursuit of his affection he is brought into touch with his emotion, made better through his desire to please her.
Unlike with many other things in the universe, the opposite is not true of women. She is not attracted to the man out of a desire to change herself, but a desire to change him. In its unhealthy form this explains a woman's tendency to be drawn to troubled men, but in proper perspective this instinct compliments the man's desire and allows her to be patient with his misunderstandings of her.
This is, as I said, a tragically brief explanation of a terribly complex subject, but it will serve for my purpose here: The Christian man is in trouble.
The biblical view of the male/female relationship is this: Man is the leader of his family; the responsible party. He is the spiritual head of his wife, and she is subject to him. See the trouble? This sits like napalm in the minds of most modern women, raised on the last three decades of feminism.
"Subject" equals "subjugated" in their minds and they quickly blanch at the prospect of granting a man such liberties. After all, she's of equal value (true), so why should her opinions and concerns be placed at the discretion of another person (least-wise a man)?
Perhaps what is needed is a closer examination of what "being the head" means. (Let me guess, all kinds of puns just jumped into your head, didn't it, ladies?)
The most often quoted verses on the subject go like this:
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22-24 - NIV)
Leaving aside the fact that the modern church (never one to avoid irony) scarcely submits to Christ... that's another topic for later, the principle here is clear: I could not add anything else to clarify it further, so let's move on.
What far too often seems to go missing in these discussions are the verses that follow the directive to wives:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-32 - NIV)
First, don't lose sight of the fact that Paul spent three verses instructing women, then spent the next EIGHT addressing men. Which of the two do you think Paul knew needed the most instruction? Yeah, you got it.
Right in the middle of those eight verses is the most important part as Paul clearly explains what it means to "be the head". In biological terms, what is the primary function of the head? To protect the body, of course. Everything vital to the operation of the head lives below the neck, so to neglect that body is to endanger the head.
Is the relationship becoming clear? Man is not the "ruler", he is the provider and protector. Only when the circle is completed does everything begin to make sense: When a Godly woman entrusts a Godly man with her well-being, it becomes his primary concern.
"As Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her"
The bigger mystery may remain why God chose this order, although in purely physiological terms it's easy to see that men are usually more coldly logical, while women are emotional creatures, prone to rash decisions when hormones are in charge. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but any objective observer will be hard-pressed to argue the point.
I am not saying that women can not exist without a man (although neither of us would exist without the other), or that she is incapable of making a decision without his guidance. God speaks to women as well, and works through them as mightily. What I am describing is the proper married relationship between two Godly people.
But that last statement raises the ultimate point:
Too many young women - and I speak here of those inside the church - act as though what I've been talking about is a relic of old religion. Maybe it is, but it wasn't supposed to be. If it's a relic, it is in large part because men have fallen far short of the example set before us: Christ Himself. Selfishness has clouded our vision, lust has dulled our taste, and we're a washed-out colorless image of the risen Son.
I'm turning this around on you guys. Paul spent almost three times as much space preaching to you for a reason. If you find yourself lamenting the demise of the Godly woman, ask yourself how many Godly men you know... then go look in the mirror. |
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| Date of Submission: 2008-03-24 01:03:18 |
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